Peanut shells crackle beneath your pink slippers as you pace. The players begin routines of a different sort long after the show is over, long after the spectators return home, their caricatures slipping from their grasp as they unlock the front door. Teeny the strongman is calling the torn names in the phone book he ripped in half, as Vasserot listens outside, smoking a cigarette with his left foot, his arms a phantom presence he feels each time he reaches for another can of peaches. Karlov the Great has gone to bed regretting his dinner, three light bulbs & a seven foot feathered boa, while in the next room Madame Sossman is about to win a red nose & a pair of floppy shoes, unless Noodles can beat three Hangmans. Monsieur LeBeau stands in the big tent, still listening to the cheers of the departed crowd. His daughter won't return his phone calls, but tomorrow will bring a new town, with a different name & story, where anything is possible, & tonight the stars' white flames burn on their blue wicks—she's out there, somewhere, the one you left behind on the Serengeti, in the night that paces in a circle with its one black shoe, beneath wires no one will ever see, the sickle moons ivory as beautiful as your tusks once were.
It is kind of messy but I recently read Clown Girl and started The Night Circus ( it's overdue and I haven't finished it because that silly fairy-princess-inner-child is keeping me busy making pretty, shiny things) and then there is the poem I put with it.